Amy Barksdale stood where Todd and his goon were as Beavis and Butt-Head were still where they were when Amy just came in.
“Looks like we got as a feisty woman, guys,” Todd smirked to his friends, as they all nodded. “Let's give her a welcome.” Amy picked up a long staff and began attacking the thugs with it, as Beavis and Butt-Head grunted at the sight of Amy fighting. “That chick kicks ass,” spoke Butt-Head. “Just like Lucy Lu,” replied Beavis. Todd felt the blood coming out of his nose, as he touched it with his fingers. “That bitch is so damn dead.” Todd ran towards Amy as he showed his fists towards her, but Amy fought back with a spin kick that dropped Todd to the ground. The sounds of police cars came as they surrounded around where Todd and his goons are. “You okay, Ranger Barksdale?” spoke one of the cops. “I'm fine, Officer,” Amy replied. “These assholes tormented these two teens here. I'll take them back to their house.” Todd looked shocked and angered at what he just heard. “You're a Texas Ranger?” A cop handcuffed Todd and his friends, as he turned to Beavis and Butt-Head. “This isn't over, you little shitheads. Not by a long shot.” The paddy wagon drove off with Todd and his men, as Amy turned to the two idiot teens. “I hope they won't bother you two anymore, but if they do I'll give you my number to call me,” Amy spoke, as she gave them her phone number from a card. Not knowing that both of them are too stupid to read anyway. “Thanks,” replied Butt-Head, as he and Beavis left. # DARIA'S ROOM Daria sat on her bed while watching MTV on her TV on top of her dresser. On her screen, she could see Primus playing then cut to Kurt Loader for the MTV News. “Daria, I need to talk to you,” Quinn knocked on Daria's door. “What do you want, Quinn?” Daria asked her sister. Quinn entered her room and sat on the bed with Daria. “I feel worried about Beavis and Butt-Head now that they lost their job.” “Those idiots burned Burger World down, Quinn,” Daria replied. “Why now do you feel sympathetic to those two assholes?” “They may be idiots, but they're still human beings, Daria,” Quinn spoke. “Do you have a heart for those two?” Daria sighed. “I know Beavis and Butt-Head are human, Quinn, but those two have not parents. Not since the time they told me they saw their dads at the desert highway*” *See Beavis and Butt-Head Do America for this iconic moment. “I can't believe what Amy did!” Daria and Quinn heard the voice of their mother from downstairs shouting to someone. “Come on, Helen, your sister save them from those thugs.” They then heard their father reply to Helen, as the two sisters went downstairs. “Jake, Beavis and Butt-Head are dumbasses,” Helen replied. “Plus they did leave Burger World to burn to the ground.” “I know they're stupid, Helen, but putting them in jail for what they did to Burger World that wasn't a crime is...” Jake stopped for a minute, as he then saw Daria and Quinn. “Girls, I have something to tell you,” Helen spoke to them. “After what has been going on in this town, we decided to move to the suburbs of Lawndale.” “But I have friends here,” Daria said. “What friends?” Quinn spoke to Daria, as Daria gave Quinn a sneering look. “You win this round, Quinn Morgendorffer,” Daria replied, then turned to her mother. “When are we moving?” “In one week,” Helen replied. “I plan to get everything packed before the movers come.” Daria and Quinn looked at each other without saying a word. # ONE WEEK LATER Daria knew she had to tell them as she walked towards Beavis and Butt-Head's house, as she saw the two dimwits playing frog baseball in the backyard. “You asshats are sick in the head,” Daria said, as Beavis hit the frog with his metal bat. “What's up, Diarrhea,” Butt-Head asked. “Spit it out, Diarrhea,” Beavis spoke as well. “I'll tell you when you two idiots shut up,” Daria replied. “My family is moving to another town in a few hours and I came here to say good-bye.” Beavis and Butt-Head said nothing as they continued playing frog baseball. “You two assholes don't care that I'm leaving Highland,” Daria snapped, but sighed. “Good-bye, and thanks for the fish.” Daria walks off, as she turned her head one last time as the two dolts continued playing. She smirks at them and leaves. # LAWNDALE A few days have passed when the Morgendorffers moved to Lawndale, as Jake drove Daria and Quinn to their new school. “I know you girls are going to be new to your new lives at your new school at Lawndale High,” Jake said, as Quinn changed the radio station to a boy band singing. “We know, Dad,” replied Quinn, as Daria changed the radio station to R&B. “If we can survive the hell that is Highland High, we can survive this hell,” Daria replied, as Jake turned the radio station back to talk radio. “Please don't screw up on your first day, girls,” said Jake. “Don't worry, Father, I didn't bring the flame thrower,” Daria smirked, as she and Quinn got out of the car in front of the high school, as Jake drove off. Quinn gave a frown look at Daria. “Don't screw this for me, Daria. I'm going to get into the popular crowd.” “You're already an immature brat as it is,” Daria smirked, as Quinn gritted her teeth in anger at her sister as she walked off. “So, you must be the new girl?” a teenage girl in a red jacket, black shirt, and black pants walked towards Daria. “The name is Jane Lane.” “You related to Dr. Seuss?” Daria smirked. Jane smirked as well. “A fellow cynical. I like you as we need to stand together from the popular asses.” Daria turned to see Quinn with three other girls as they giggled. “Who the hell are those bimbos with my sister?” Jane groaned. “The Fashion Club. The Heathers of Lawndale High. Thank goodness you're not a member of those bitches. Let me show you around the school.” Daria and Jane walked off. “Who is the fresh meat, Kelly?” Sabrina Forester, as girl who looked more like a teenage version of Shirley Temple with her blonde, curly hair. “She's Daria Morgendorrffer from Highland, TX,” replied Kelly Chaps, a teen girl with square shaped glasses, short, orange hair, and freckles. “What do you have in mind, Sabrina?” Sabrina smirked evilly. “Kelly, I think we have found our new best friend.” NEXT: Fast Times at Lawndale High
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LAWNDALE # 1
Written By Patrick Moore ìWELCOME TO LAWNDALEî Pt. 1 LAWNDALE POLICE STATION A teenage girl with glasses, a green jacket, and a black skirt entered the police station, as she walked up to the front desk to a plump cop drinking a decaf coffee. ìIím here to pick up my idiot sister and her dumbass friends,î the girl spoke, as she gave the cop the cash to bail her sister. ìName of the person you want bail out?î The cop asked. ìQuinn Morgendorffer and the Fashion Club of Idiots,î Daria Morgendorffer replied, as the cop went to get the girls. Daria sighed as she knew this has gone full circle, ever since she and her family came to Lawndale from Highland, TX. The final days with two certain brain dead teens named Beavis and Butt-Head. HIGHLAND HIGH-ONE MONTH AGO Daria walked the hallways of the high school, as she spotted the likes of students like Cassandra and Stewart talking with other students. ìWHERE ARE THOSE MOTHER $%#@&% MORONS?!!The profane shouting of Mr. Buzzcut boomed in the hallway, as he stormed running past students to get to Principal McVickerís office. ìLooks like Beavis and Butt-Head are at it again,î Daria said to herself, as she knew who Buzzcut was talking about. Daria could hear the familiar sounds of two idiots laughing and grunting as they came out of the restroom. Everyone scowled when Beavis and Butt-Head came towards them. ìWhat did you two dumbasses do now?î Daria asked them. ìNone of your business, Diarrhea,î Butt-Head replied. ìYeah, Daria, go away,î Beavis spoke as well. Daria just sighed, as she went to her class. BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEADíS HOUSE The two dimwits sat in their couch, as they watched Judge Judy on their TV. Itís a case between Stacy Cornbread and Tally Wong, two former announcers from a certain wrestling show about b-list celebrities who fight in the square circle to boost ratings. ìNow tell me, Ms. Cornbread, what happened after you were brought back from the dead?î Judge Judy asked Stacy. ìI remember that Johnny Gomez had had enough of Tallyís bitchiness, that he and Nick Diamond used our time machine to bring me back,î Stacy replied. ìWait a minute,î Tally interrupted. ìI thought Judge Mills Lane killed you in a match after you killed Susan Lucci?î ìKEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT, MS. WONG!î Judge Judy shouted, as she threw a large book at her. ìJudge Judy kicks ass,î Beavis cheered, as he ate some nachos. Butt-Head smacked Beavis as he laughed. ìDonít eat all the nachos, asswipe.î ìDammit, Butt-Head,î Beavis grunted, as he dug into his nose with his finger. The TV cut from Judge Judy to a news report showing a female reporter talking about an explosion at Burger World. ìHey, Butt-Head, isnít that where we work?î Beavis asked. Butt-Head looked deadpanned until he got back to earth. ìLetís go to Burger World for some burgers.î ìLetís get burgers,î Beavis grunted in agreement, as the two morons leave. BURGER WORLDÖWHAT IS ALMOST LEFT OF IT? Daria and Quinn looked on with other people, as the firemen are putting out the fire. Daria turned to see Beavis and Butt-Head walk towards them. ìFIRE! FIRE!î Beavis spoke, as he saw Burger World burning. Daria frowned at Beavis after what he said. ìThis is why kids shouldnít mimic you two idiots. Remember what happened to the brat who set his trailer on fire that also killed his baby sister?î The two idiots stood there in space, as the sound of crickets can be heard. ìAre those two that extremely stupid?î Quinn asked Daria. ìYep,î Daria replied, as she spotted the Burger World Manager running towards Beavis and Butt-Head. ìWhat the %#@^& happened here?!î the Manager named Walt shouted at the two boys. ìI left you two idiots to work, and the place is on fire.î ìBeavis, we were supposed to go back to work after our break,î Butt-Head just remembered something. ìWhen did we take our break?î Beavis asked. ìTHAT WAS THREE HOURS AGO, YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS DOLTS!!!!î Walt shouted from the top of his lungs. ìDo we still get paid?î Butt-Head asked Walt, but Walt grabbed the two dopes by their throats with his face turning red. ìYOU TWO MORONS ARE SO #$%^@$# FIRED!î Walt threw them to the ground and walked off in rage. Daria and Quinn looked at them and just walked off. MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE Daria couldnít get the look of Beavis and Butt-Head getting fired by their Burger World boss out of her head, as it was like seeing the blue jay and raccoon almost getting fired by the Tom Servo rip-off on Regular Show, but in real life. She sat there on the couch reading The Art of War from her tablet, when her mother, Helen, entered with bags of Chinese food. ìLooks like Dad is going to be in his moods again,î Daria smirked, as Helen put the food on the table. ìDaria, whereís Quinn?î Helen asked, as she took off her red shirt suit after a day of working as a lawyer. ìI need to tell everyone something.î ìQuinn and I just got back from the Burger World fire, and Beavis and Butt-Head got the boot,î Daria replied, as she went back to her reading. ìHer royal pain is upstairs chatting online with one of her suitors.î ìThat chat line better be free, because Iím not going to pay for Quinnís internet bill,î Helen remarked, as she took out a small silver case from her purse. ìIím going outside to smoke for a minute.î Daria frowned for a second. ìYou said you quit smokingÖlast New Yearís.î Helen frowned back, as she took out a panatela cigar from the case. ìYouíre worse than your father, and Iím smoking cigars, young lady. If women now can smoke those big sticks, so can I.î ìAnd look what happened to the first two bailiffs on Night Court,î Daria replied. ìOh shut up,î Helen went outside, as Daria smirked. Quinn came downstairs to see what was going on. ìLooks like Mom is taking her cigar smoke break.î Daria nodded, as she and Quinn could see Helen puffing away from outside the window. ìI thought she quit?î Quinn asked. ìShe did, but decided to start up with those thin cigars with the 1990ís cigar boom and all,î Daria replied to Quinn. ìWant an eggroll?î MAXI MART Beavis and Butt-Head sat on the sidewalk eating there last basket of nachos, now that the two numbskulls were fired. A familiar green car almost crashed into them as Todd, the resident street thug, came out of his car and swiped the boysí nachos from them. ìThanks for the nachos, ladies,î Todd laughed, as he punched the duo to the sidewalk. ìHey, Todd, can we finally be in your gang?î Butt-Head asked. ìIt would be cool,î Beavis grunted, until Todd kicked him in his privates. ìShut the hell up, you pansies,î Todd continued to pummel the two hapless dolts, with the help of two more of his thug goons coming out of the car. ìHEY, DUMBASSES!î A female voice shouted at them, as they stop hitting the two morons. They turned to see a woman with long brown hair, wearing blue jeans, and a short sleeved blue shirt behind them. Todd smirked at the female, as he took off his shades. ìHello, pretty lady. Whatís your name?î The woman gave a frown then smirked. ìMy name is Amy Barksdale, and you perverts are going to mess with the wrong woman.î CONTINUES IN LAWNDALE # 2 AUTHORíS NOTE: Welcome to Lawndale # 1. This is a revival of the MTV animated Daria series, as I wanted to do a reboot for the showís twentieth anniversary but doing a flashback to the Morgendorfferís final times with Beavis and Butt-Head that would lead into the show proper. The next few issues will be set in Highland leading to the move to Lawndale where the series will truly begin. You will be seeing other Beavis and Butt-Head cast members showing up, and a surprise appearance by a certain propane salesman and his family and friends. Come back for Lawndale # 2, when a certain ìAuntî takes on Todd and his goons. Plus, a big change begins to happen to the Morgendorffers. |
By Patrick MooreThe return of everyone's favorite apathetic protagonist: Daria Morgendorffer! ArchivesCategories |