Amy Barksdale stood where Todd and his goon were as Beavis and Butt-Head were still where they were when Amy just came in.
“Looks like we got as a feisty woman, guys,” Todd smirked to his friends, as they all nodded. “Let's give her a welcome.” Amy picked up a long staff and began attacking the thugs with it, as Beavis and Butt-Head grunted at the sight of Amy fighting. “That chick kicks ass,” spoke Butt-Head. “Just like Lucy Lu,” replied Beavis. Todd felt the blood coming out of his nose, as he touched it with his fingers. “That bitch is so damn dead.” Todd ran towards Amy as he showed his fists towards her, but Amy fought back with a spin kick that dropped Todd to the ground. The sounds of police cars came as they surrounded around where Todd and his goons are. “You okay, Ranger Barksdale?” spoke one of the cops. “I'm fine, Officer,” Amy replied. “These assholes tormented these two teens here. I'll take them back to their house.” Todd looked shocked and angered at what he just heard. “You're a Texas Ranger?” A cop handcuffed Todd and his friends, as he turned to Beavis and Butt-Head. “This isn't over, you little shitheads. Not by a long shot.” The paddy wagon drove off with Todd and his men, as Amy turned to the two idiot teens. “I hope they won't bother you two anymore, but if they do I'll give you my number to call me,” Amy spoke, as she gave them her phone number from a card. Not knowing that both of them are too stupid to read anyway. “Thanks,” replied Butt-Head, as he and Beavis left. # DARIA'S ROOM Daria sat on her bed while watching MTV on her TV on top of her dresser. On her screen, she could see Primus playing then cut to Kurt Loader for the MTV News. “Daria, I need to talk to you,” Quinn knocked on Daria's door. “What do you want, Quinn?” Daria asked her sister. Quinn entered her room and sat on the bed with Daria. “I feel worried about Beavis and Butt-Head now that they lost their job.” “Those idiots burned Burger World down, Quinn,” Daria replied. “Why now do you feel sympathetic to those two assholes?” “They may be idiots, but they're still human beings, Daria,” Quinn spoke. “Do you have a heart for those two?” Daria sighed. “I know Beavis and Butt-Head are human, Quinn, but those two have not parents. Not since the time they told me they saw their dads at the desert highway*” *See Beavis and Butt-Head Do America for this iconic moment. “I can't believe what Amy did!” Daria and Quinn heard the voice of their mother from downstairs shouting to someone. “Come on, Helen, your sister save them from those thugs.” They then heard their father reply to Helen, as the two sisters went downstairs. “Jake, Beavis and Butt-Head are dumbasses,” Helen replied. “Plus they did leave Burger World to burn to the ground.” “I know they're stupid, Helen, but putting them in jail for what they did to Burger World that wasn't a crime is...” Jake stopped for a minute, as he then saw Daria and Quinn. “Girls, I have something to tell you,” Helen spoke to them. “After what has been going on in this town, we decided to move to the suburbs of Lawndale.” “But I have friends here,” Daria said. “What friends?” Quinn spoke to Daria, as Daria gave Quinn a sneering look. “You win this round, Quinn Morgendorffer,” Daria replied, then turned to her mother. “When are we moving?” “In one week,” Helen replied. “I plan to get everything packed before the movers come.” Daria and Quinn looked at each other without saying a word. # ONE WEEK LATER Daria knew she had to tell them as she walked towards Beavis and Butt-Head's house, as she saw the two dimwits playing frog baseball in the backyard. “You asshats are sick in the head,” Daria said, as Beavis hit the frog with his metal bat. “What's up, Diarrhea,” Butt-Head asked. “Spit it out, Diarrhea,” Beavis spoke as well. “I'll tell you when you two idiots shut up,” Daria replied. “My family is moving to another town in a few hours and I came here to say good-bye.” Beavis and Butt-Head said nothing as they continued playing frog baseball. “You two assholes don't care that I'm leaving Highland,” Daria snapped, but sighed. “Good-bye, and thanks for the fish.” Daria walks off, as she turned her head one last time as the two dolts continued playing. She smirks at them and leaves. # LAWNDALE A few days have passed when the Morgendorffers moved to Lawndale, as Jake drove Daria and Quinn to their new school. “I know you girls are going to be new to your new lives at your new school at Lawndale High,” Jake said, as Quinn changed the radio station to a boy band singing. “We know, Dad,” replied Quinn, as Daria changed the radio station to R&B. “If we can survive the hell that is Highland High, we can survive this hell,” Daria replied, as Jake turned the radio station back to talk radio. “Please don't screw up on your first day, girls,” said Jake. “Don't worry, Father, I didn't bring the flame thrower,” Daria smirked, as she and Quinn got out of the car in front of the high school, as Jake drove off. Quinn gave a frown look at Daria. “Don't screw this for me, Daria. I'm going to get into the popular crowd.” “You're already an immature brat as it is,” Daria smirked, as Quinn gritted her teeth in anger at her sister as she walked off. “So, you must be the new girl?” a teenage girl in a red jacket, black shirt, and black pants walked towards Daria. “The name is Jane Lane.” “You related to Dr. Seuss?” Daria smirked. Jane smirked as well. “A fellow cynical. I like you as we need to stand together from the popular asses.” Daria turned to see Quinn with three other girls as they giggled. “Who the hell are those bimbos with my sister?” Jane groaned. “The Fashion Club. The Heathers of Lawndale High. Thank goodness you're not a member of those bitches. Let me show you around the school.” Daria and Jane walked off. “Who is the fresh meat, Kelly?” Sabrina Forester, as girl who looked more like a teenage version of Shirley Temple with her blonde, curly hair. “She's Daria Morgendorrffer from Highland, TX,” replied Kelly Chaps, a teen girl with square shaped glasses, short, orange hair, and freckles. “What do you have in mind, Sabrina?” Sabrina smirked evilly. “Kelly, I think we have found our new best friend.” NEXT: Fast Times at Lawndale High
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By Patrick MooreThe return of everyone's favorite apathetic protagonist: Daria Morgendorffer! ArchivesCategories |