Monsters vs. Aliens: The Kraal conundrum!
The place: location classified The time: Shortly after lunch The auditorium had a domed roof and rows of seating for a hundred. Five individuals currently occupied it. At the podium stood a short, stocky man with an impressively manly chin. He wore the medal-decorated uniform of a five star general. His helmet was pulled down to just above his razor-straight, gunmetal eyebrows. He peered out, with a steely gaze, at his audience. General Warren Monger was head of a top-secret government taskforce had gathered his team for a mission briefing. The team’s field leader was Susan Murphy, codename: Ginormica. Radiation from a meteor had elevated her height to 49 feet 11 inches. Needless to say, she didn’t fit into any of the chairs and sat on the floor in the middle aisle. She was in constant danger of bumping her head on the ceiling. Next to her, slumped in a chair, was a bulky, muscular creature that looked like a mix of fish and gorilla. He had scaly, green skin, broad shoulders and arms that reached down to the knees of his bowed legs, which ended in webbed feet. Fin-like ridges ran down his spine and the undersides of his arms. Missing Linc, last of his race, absently picked at a pointed tooth with a blunt finger. In the front row, a figure in a lab coat sat, attentive, ramrod straight, notebook and pencil at the ready. He was dressed as a research scientist, but had the appearance of a five-foot tall bug: large eyes, tiny beak-like mouth, spindly arms and a pair of prominent antenna. His pencil-thin mustache was, he insisted, not proof that he was an evil scientist, but rather a style choice. Dr. Cockroach (PHD) was the teams’ scientific advisor, though the fact that one of his own experiments had rendered him into his current bug-like form did not always instill confidence. Across the aisle from him, taking up three chairs, was an enormous, glistening, blue gelatinous mass. It boasted a single, enormous eye. Its maw of a mouth was wide open and it might have been drooling. It was hard to tell. B.O.B. was the result of a chemical research disaster. Instead of creating a new formula ranch dressing, it created a new form of life. Science is funny that way. “If I can have your attention!” General Monger barked. “Gentlemen, Miss Murphy, we have a new assignment. A chance to go out into the field and show them what you got!” “Good,” Linc muttered, cracking his over-sized knuckles. “Haven’t tussled with anything in weeks…I’m gonna get rusty.” “Shush,” Susan said, quietly. “Go, ahead, General, what do you need us to do?” The General pushed a button on the podium and a screen behind him lit up, showing an aerial map of Nebraska. “At O600 hours, there was a meteor strike, three kilometers outside Turnstone Nebraska, population 628,” The General intoned, pacing as he spoke. He took a silver pen out of his breast pocket and with a dramatic gesture, extended it out to a two-foot long pointer. “Here is the estimated strike zone and…here, is a signal rely and monitoring station maintained by the U.S. government. You will understand our concern, once it was reported there were erratic signal notations and energy spikes on the local power grid…B.O.B, you have a question…?” “Uh…yeah.” The Blob replied, nodding. “Three kilometers…what‘s that in miles?” “Any other questions?” General Monger asked through gritted teeth. “Miss Murphy?” “Well,” Susan began, lower her hand. “Has there been any aliens spotted in the area?” “Negative. The signal disruption and energy spikes may just be the result of radiation from the meteor. We are unsure if any hostiles extraterrestrials are involved, but there is concern. We do not wish to alarm the locals. This will be a covert reconnaissance mission.” “Covert?” Dr. Cockroach asked, looking up from his notes. “Us?” “Have you seen us?” Linc added. “We don’t blend.” “He kind of has a point, General,” Susan said. “We do tend to stand out in a crowd.” “Is 0600 morning or night?” B.O.B. asked. “Is any of this going to be on the final?” “I understand your concerns,” The General said. “ But I felt it would be best to have you on site in case this is more then a simple meteor strike. It hitting so close to a government facility, so you will be liasoning with a field agent from the United States branch of the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce…” “U.N.I.T…?” Cockroach frowned. “Is that really a good idea…?“ “Better then the B.P.R.D.” Linc said, frowning. “Those guys give me the creeps.” “If we’re going under cover, how are we going to get there?” Susan asked. “We can’t take Inectasuarus…” “He’s still on sabbatical on Monster Island,” Dr. Cockroach nodded. “We have made arrangements,” General Monger said. “Any other questions?” “How come we don’t have a cool acronym name?” B.O.B. asked. “He’s got a point,” Linc nodded. “We need to work on that.” The sound of General Monger’s teeth grinding could be heard echoing through the auditorium. Location: Three miles outside Turnstone Nebraska Time: Close to bedtime The nondescript grey tractor-trailer truck turned off the main highway onto a side road. After a mile it turned onto a narrow dirt road that snaked through the surrounding woods. Reaching an old barn, it idled until a figure appeared and opened the barn’s wooden double doors. The truck backed up into the barn and the back doors opened. Gigantic Susan Murphy crawled out. “That was not fun,” She grimaced, sitting against the wall, trying to massage the kinks out of her legs. “Yeah, try doing it when there’s an enormous elbow digging into your back,” Linc groaned, arching his spine until it cracked and then rolling his shoulders. “Humph, nothing but complaints,” Doctor Cockroach tutted climbing out of the cab to join them. “I was subjected to country music the whole way here and the driver only had tuna sandwiches…no mayonnaise…he prefers Miracle whip…!” The mutated scientist shuddered, not noticing his teammates glares and lack of sympathy. The figure that let them in, a tall man with sandy hair, wearing a trench coat over his suit, came into the barn. “I thought there was four of you?” He asked, with a slight British accent. “Yes,” Doctor Cockroach nodded, stepping over to the truck’s back up gas tank. He turned a large dial, a spout opened and B.O.B poured out. “…Take one down, pass it around…sixteen bottles of beer on the wall…!” The blob sang, reforming into his usual shape, shaking out his floppy arms and then pushing his eye back into place. “ Six-teen bottles of beer on the… Hey, guys! We there yet? You want to play the license plate game?” “Oh my…!” The man in the trench coat muttered, wide-eyed, as he looked over the new arrivals. “Yeah, I know,” Linc nodded, stroking his chin. “It’s a lot to take in, how pretty we are. You get used to it.” “It’s just…I’m…” The man from U.N.I.T. began. “Used to pointing guns at anyone that looks like us, rather then asking for their help…?” Doctor Cockroach prompted. “Guys, we’re on the same side,” Susan chided them. “Remember, It didn’t go real smoothly when I first met you.” “She screamed like a girl…!” B.O.B. chuckled, his whole body starting to wobble. “No, your…ah…teammates are right,” He said, finally mustering his voice and thoughts. “And I apologize. We are on the same side…Commander Alistair Benton.” He offered his hand. It quickly disappeared in Linc’s larger hand. The Amphibian gave it a single vigorous shake. “Fair enough. Though, I gotta say, you don’t sound like you’re from Nebraska, Al.” “No, no I’m not. Born in the U.K.” Alistair explained, with a chuckle. “Came here for university and joined the American branch. It’s sort of the family business.” “Nice to meet you,” Susan said, offering a smile and an enormous hand to shake. “Well, that’s lovely and heart-warming,” Doctor Cockroach said, rolling his over-sized eyes. “Can we get down to business?” “Manners,” Susan breathed, leaning down close to the mutated scientist. “So, how can we help on a covert mission…? We don’t really blend in…” “I do,” B.O.B. announced. “I brought a disguise!” He put on a baseball cap and pair of sunglasses, which quickly sank into his blue, glistening body. He frowned and stuck his arms into his body to fish them out before the chemicals he was made of dissolved them. Benton gestured toward a makeshift table. It contained a portable communications-monitoring device and a map of the area, the corners weighted down by a rock and an old horseshoe. “The meteor came down…roughly here,” He explained, pointing. “Communications from the station were almost immediately disrupted. It took two hours to re-establish and even then, there were moments of dead air and unusual energy spikes….” “Radiation or cosmic rays…?” Doctor Cockroach suggested, studying the map. He tippy-toed his long fingers across it, while counting off distances and doing some mental calculations. “Not an unreasonable guess,” Benton nodded. “Until the tech team we sent in disappeared. Not communication error, they just simply vanished. No contact…the station liaison informed us they never arrived.” “Yeah, that’s sketchy,” Linc nodded, thoughtfully. “I get you wanting us around if things go bad,” Susan said, even kneeling she loomed over her teammates. “But, how do you expect us to stealthily scout things out?” “Your General made a few suggestions,” Benton explained. “The river, here, runs around a good deal of the town.” “I get it,” Linc said. “I swim around, checking things out and come ashore when I find a secluded spot…” It’s dark enough, that the Doctor could come with me and we could scan the area more thoroughly,” Benton added, as he dug an over-sized hoodie out of a backpack on the dirt floor. “Oh! Oh!” B.O.B. exclaimed, raising his hand enthusiastically. “What about me? Do I get a disguise? A stealth mission! When we talk over the walkie-talkies can my code name be “Eagle One”?” “I’m thinking, you and I are back up, B.O.B.,” Susan said. “In case it isn’t just cosmic rays causing the problems. B.O.B. slumped and frowned. “Oh, maaan…!” He breathed, dejected. “Hey, don’t pout, big guy,” Linc said. “Odds are pretty good this is the start of an alien invasion.” “You’re just saying that to cheer me up,” B.O.B. muttered, sullenly. “I’ll keep an eye on him,” Susan said. “You guys go ahead. Anything I can do while ‘manning home base’?” “Keep an eye on the monitor,” Benton suggested. “Yellow light is communication disruption, red is an energy spike. If all three lights go red, contact me, Miss Murphy.” ‘It’s Susan. I think I can handle that.” Doctor Cockroach put on the sweatshirt and squeezed his over-sized head into the hood. “I feel ridiculous.” He muttered. “Naw, you look fine,” Linc said, suppressing a laugh. “It’s dark,” Benton explained. “Stay in the car, slump and just look at your scanner. People will think you’re a teenager.” “Good luck guys!” Susan called, waving goodbye. “So, what do you wanna do?” B.O.B. asked her, once the others had left. “Oh, I know…sixteen bottles of beer on the wall…!” Time passed, the moon pushed its way out through the clouds and shown down on the sluggish river. Linc’s head poked out of the water. Only his eyes and nose shown. He glanced around several minutes, checking things out. Deciding the coast was clear he rose a bit more out of the water, humming the theme from ‘Jaws’ as he swam towards the embankment. Using muscular arms, he grabbed hold of protruding roots and rocks to pull himself the five feet up. Again, Linc paused and glanced around. “Quiet,” He muttered. “A little too quiet…though, it is Nebraska…” With a casual move, he flung himself up and onto the grassy top of the embankment. Linc crouched, listening to his surroundings for several seconds. Hearing nothing out of the ordinary, he pushed his way through the bushes. The amphibious ape-man peered at the quiet backyard, trimmed grass, swing set and a barbeque grill. The house was dark and quiet. Linc quickly made his way across the lawn and peeked in a few windows. No sign of any people. Looked like everyone had turned in for the night. He crossed the yard, using his long arms, as much as his legs to propel him along. He then jumped the hedge that separated this yard from its neighbor, did a shoulder roll and leapt to his feet. This house had a light on. Linc edged along the wall, reached the window and peered, discreetly in. A family of four was sitting around the living room, staring intently at the television. Except the T.V. was off and dark. “Yeah, even I know that’s not right,” Linc muttered. The next three houses were the same, either completely dark or families gathered around a dark television. Linc pressed his back against the house, frowning in thought. “Um…guys, definitely something hinky going on here,” He said, out of the corner of his mouth. “Guys…? Hello…?” He tapped at an earpiece communicator. “Anybody…Bueller…?” Getting no response, he popped out the earpiece and shook it. Drops of water hit his face. “Come on…!” He muttered. “You gave me a walkie-talkie that isn’t waterproof? Razzi-frazzin cheap piece of…!” He glanced up to find two children, a boy and a girl standing by the back door, staring at him. “Oh…oops,” Linc muttered. ”Uh…well, hi there…look, I know I might look a little scary…and pretty dang awesome, but…um…I’m one of the good guys…and…” Both children raised their right arms and as they pointed at the monster, their fingers morphed into gun barrels. “Oh, crap…!” Linc said as he made a mad dash back towards the river, projectiles whizzing past his head. Linc skidded to a halt, as two more kids appeared and blocked his path. Linc dodged, wincing as several shots ricocheted off his scaly hide. He then leapt, reaching out with one hand to push one of the kids aside. His hope was if he went between the kids in front, the ones behind him would stop shooting, to avoid hitting their friends. What he hadn’t counted on was a stray shot catching him in the shoulder and causing his arm to jerk, his hand clenched the kids’ head and it popped right off. Linc went flying through the bushes, horrified at what he’d just done. Then he saw the wires poking out of the severed head still in his hand, right before he tumbled down the embankment and belly flopped into the river. Benton pulled the car into the parking lot of a convience store. “Be right back,” He told Doctor Cockroach. The scientist ‘hmmmph’d’ in reply, hunching down in his seat while intently fiddling with the collection of doohickeys in his lap. Benton came out a few minutes later with a coffee and a frown. “Anything helpful?” Cockroach asked, not looking up from his tinkering. “Coffee’s terrible and the clerk was…odd,” Benton replied. “How so?” “Talked funny.” “That sounds vaguely racist.” “No, not like that,” Benton muttered. “Kid was as fresh faced and Midwest as you could get. Sounded like either he just woke up or just learned English, but I could see him standing attentively at the counter the whole time I was walking up…definitely something odd and it feels…vaguely familiar…?” “We have company,” Cockroach murmured. Benton glanced up and noticed the police car pulling into the parking lot. The officer got out and ambled into the convience store. He chatted with the clerk, and then got himself a coffee and plastic-wrapped, premade sandwich. On his way back across the parking lot, he headed toward the government operatives’ car. “Hide whatever you are tinkering with and remember, you’re a surly teenager.” Benton said, right before lowering his window. “Evening, officer.” “Evening. You folks okay?” “What? Oh sure, just taking a break. Needed some coffee,” Benton said, with a cheery American accent. “Though, maybe you could help…what’s the quickest way to pick up route eight?” The policeman placed his snack on the car roof, while he pointed where they should go, with a couple bits of local interest thrown in, then collected his food and wished them a good night and safe trip. “That was…odd,” Benton muttered as they drove away. “What…?” Doctor Cockroach asked. “The part where officer overly friendly arrived out of nowhere seconds after your interaction with the vacuous clerk, eager to direct us out of town or the part where the energy readings for this quaint, small town are spiking worryingly high?” “That’s an energy scanner?” Benton asked with barely disguised skepticism. “What else would it be?” “Well, a video game controller wielded to a flashlight with a few Christmas lights attached…?” Benton replied. “Only to the untrained, unscientific eye!” Doctor Cockroach snapped, indignantly. “I don’t see you toting any equipment around.” “Welcome to the 21st century, Doctor,” Benton said, holding up his cell phone. “You are scanning for alien technology with your phone…?” The mutated scientist asked, incredulously. “There’s an app for everything these days.” Benton smiled. “My phone is actually…crikey!” “Did you just say…?” Doctor Cockroach began. Benton stared at his phone, then realizing the car was still moving, pulled over and began tapping away at the screen. “The town is blanketed with transmissions!” Benton muttered, confused. “They are piggybacking onto every kind of signal going through the area…and the energy spikes are…!” “Dangerously high and worryingly frequent?” Doctor Cockroach prompted. Benton nodded and tapped at his phone. “It’s also messing with our communications,” He muttered. “Don’t like that…! We need to get back to the others.” He started the car and turned; planning to circle the town to head back to the barn “True, who knows what trouble B.O.B has gotten into,” Doctor Cockroach muttered. “No more bot-tles of beeeeeer on…the…wall…! One more time!” “Okay, B.O.B. I think three times is enough,” Susan said, with a patient sigh. “Let’s find something else to do.” “Yeah, okay,” B.O.B. nodded, thoughtfully stroking where his chin would have been if he’d had one. He glanced down at the 42 games of ticktacktoe scratched on the dirt floor. “Yeah, can’t have you falling asleep…I know it’s called a sleepover, but no sleeping…! We should have snacks! And then we can talk about boys…!” Susan nodded, but her attention was torn between peeking through a gap in the top of the barn wall and checking the monitoring device. In the moonlight, her imagination was making every shadow a marauding alien. Plus, not having much technical skill, every blink of a light on the monitor startled her. “Come on guys…!” She muttered. “Where are you?” “Oh! Oh! I know!” B.O.B. announced, tugging at her pant leg. “We can do mani-pedis!” “You don’t have toes, B.O.B.” Susan said, absently. “I wish the guys would call.” “Especially, Ali-ster…!” B.O.B. said, in an exaggerated singsong voice. “What?” Susan said, looking down at the blue blob. “What’re you talking about?” “You like Alistair!” B.O.B. gushed. “No, I don’t…I mean, it’s nice having someone to work with that doesn’t treat us like freaks…I…uh…like…um… that about him…!” “Noooooo….!” Her teammate interrupted, giddily. “You LIKE like him…you want him to be your boy-friend!!” “B.O.B, that’s not…um…” Susan said. “Do you hear something…?” “Su-san and Ali-ster…sittin in a tree…!” B.O.B. began to sing. “K-I-S-S-S-S…um…S…man, shouldn’t have picked a song with spelling…is it I next or Y…maybe…E…?” Susan reached down, scooped up her gloppy teammate and deposited him into a nearby rain barrel. “Now, shush,” She said, frowning. “Could’ve sworn I heard something…” B.O.B. pushed up two tendrils of blue goo, one held his eye, while the other was his mouth. “And technically, you’d be standing next to the tree, while Alistair would be sittin…” He muttered. Susan rolled her eyes, turned away from her teammate and was startled by a woman standing in the barn’s now open doorway. “Um…Hi,” Susan said. “I know I might look…well, a little alarming…but…” The odd thing was the woman didn’t look the least bit alarmed. What made Susan anxious was the woman’s complete lack of expression. She might be attending an insurance seminar, rather then encountering a giant. “You okay?” The woman raised her head, giving Susan a slow up and down assessment. Her expression remained unaltered, but she did raise her right arm. The tips of her fingers morphed. “That looks kinda like a gun…” Susan muttered, seconds before the woman started firing at her. She attempted to dodge and immediately cracked her head against a wooden beam. Three shots hit her shoulder, another across her hip. Susan struggled to dodge in the confined space, her enormous size working against her. She lashed out, swatting the woman, sending her staggering back. A couple of wild shots shattered the barrel and B.O.B. came rushing out like some kind of enormous water balloon. “Wha…hoppen…?” He burbled, shaking his head, this caused his eyeball to go bouncing around inside his gelatin-like body. “B.O.B., help!” Susan shouted, tossing a hay bale at her attacker. “Whoa…!” B.O.B. exclaimed as several shots passed through his body. “That’s just rude.” His arms stretched like gum, one hand expanding to grab hold of both the strange woman’s wrists, the other moved to strike her, but hesitated. “I kinda don’t feel right hitting a girl,” He frowned. “Hit her, you big goober!” Susan shouted, nursing her injured shoulder. B.O.B. closed his eye and the administered a hearty slap. He tentatively opened his eye, just as the woman’s face fell off. “Gaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!” He shrieked, his abnormally extended arms flailing about. Where her face had been was an opening filled with circuits and wires. She continued to fire wildly. Susan gritted her teeth, clasped both her huge fists together and brought them down on the mechanical woman’s head, driving her into the ground like a tent peg, up to her shoulders. She struggled for several seconds, while sparks shot out of the hole where her face used to be, before slumping. “That can’t be good,” Susan muttered, shifting and wincing. She rubbed her wounded hip. “B.O.B., you okay?” “Ab-ab-abba-daaaah…!” The Blob babbled. “B.O.B…?” Susan asked, tentatively leaning in. “HER…FACE…CAME…OFF…!!!” He exclaimed, wide-eyed. “Yeah, okay, just calm down…!” “OFF! It came right OFF!” “It’s okay…” “I mean, I’m a big blob of mucus and ranch dressing, but that’s just messed up!” Susan sighed and with her uninjured arm, reached over and gently steered her distraught teammate towards the far corner of the barn. “Why don’t you take minute,” She said, soothingly. “It..It just…right off,” He whimpered as he scooched across the dirt floor. “Right off…that ain’t right…!” “Oh boy…!” Susan breathed. She sat back and inspected the tear in the shoulder of her top. The skin underneath was bruised, but not bleeding. “Why are the doors open?” Benton asked, coming in quickly. He nearly stumbled over the faceless woman sticking out of the dirt. “What is that…? What happened?” “Her face came off!” B.O.B. yelled from the corner. “I…what…?” “Um…we had some trouble.” Susan said. “Yes, I see that,” Benton said, in a baffled tone. “Now, I’ve calculated the wave oscillation…oh…!” Doctor Cockroach said, walking in and looking up from his cobbled together gadget. As he was studying Susan’s attacker, Linc came jogging in, breathing heavy and carrying a severed head. “Okay, this isn’t as bad as it looks,” He said, holding up the head to show the wires sticking out of the neck. He then frowned and looked around at his teammates. “What the Sam hill happened here…?” “Looks like we all ran into trouble,” Susan said.” Close the door. We need to figure this out quick!” Linc tossed the head to Doctor Cockroach and did as he was asked. Benton went over and plugged his phone into the larger monitoring device. “So, what do we know?” Susan asked.” The town’s been infiltrated by robots…” “Androids, actually.” Doctor Cockroach interrupted, not looking up from the head he was studying. “Professor Pedantic to the rescue,” Linc muttered. “Uh-huh, androids,” Susan nodded. “So, whatever showed up in that “meteor” is using the ro…uh…androids and they’ve taken over the town…?” “If they’ve got the town,” Benton said, tapping away at the monitor device control panel. “They could get at the government station and once tapped into the military communications system…” “It would be bad,” Linc said. “Got it. What do we do about it?” “The robots were built by aliens,” Susan said. “Right? Do we know who they are?” “Don’t sound like anybody we’ve butted heads with,” Linc shrugged. “Might be new guys.” “I think I’ve found them,” Benton said, joining them and holding up his phone. “I found a possible match on the U.N.I.T. database.” Susan leaned down, while Linc moved in to look at the screen of his phone. “Kraal…? Never heard of them.” Linc said. The grainy picture showed a stocky alien clad in a metallic tunic that reached down to its knees. Its skin was green and sported a pig-like snout, bat ears and a lantern jaw. Its eyes were beady and it gave off an air of being perpetually grumpy. “U.N.I.T. has encountered them a couple times,” Benton explained. “They’ve attempted this sort of infiltration operation before. Not good soldiers but experts in robotics and weapon design. We need to figure out where in town they are concealing their transmitters to direct the androids…going to be tough as the place is blanketed with energy signatures…” “We may be looking at this wrong,” Doctor Cockroach said, straightening up. He held up the severed head, turned it over and peered into the neck hole. “What’s up, Doc?” Linc asked. The mutated scientist gave him a disdainful glare then stepped up to his teammates. “These Kraal fellows are quite talented,” He explained. “Their use of dual transmission micro…” “Join their fan club after we stop them from conquering the planet,” Linc interrupted. “Yes, yes, my point is, I don’t believe they have infiltrated the town in order to take over the base, but rather have already taken the base and are using its transmission equipment to power and direct their ANDROIDS to take over the town.” “Which explains why the town is blanketed with signals,” Benton nodded thoughtfully. “That’s bad, right?” Linc asked, looking back and forth between the two speakers. “Yes,” Susan told him. “What do we do? Is this an invasion?” “Maybe,” Benton shrugged. “I don’t…it makes sense. If they took the base first the Kraal could adapt its equipment for controlling the androids.” “The disrupted communications wasn’t something in the town testing the bases’ defenses,” Doctor Cockroach mused, stroking his thin mustache in thought. “But rather the attempts to adapt the bases’ equipment and line up the broadcast frequencies…” “How do we stop them?” Susan asked. Doctor Cockroach began to pace. “Obviously, if we shut down the broadcasting antennae that should scramble the Kraals ability to direct the androids.” “Seriously…?” Linc asked. “Sneak into a government base full of aliens and killer “androids” and shut it down, before the town full of killer “androids” comes for us? What school did you get your degree from again…?” “No, he’s right,” Benton said. “If we split into two teams,” Susan said, thoughtfully. “One keeps the…townspeople busy, while the other shuts down the…um…whatever they’re using to broadcast the Kraal signal. That would work, right?” “Sure, another day at the office,” Linc said, cracking his knuckles. “How many “androids” I gotta punch in the face?” “Their faces fall off…!” B.O.B. shouted from the far corner of the barn. “Okay, B.O.B, honey, just take deep breaths,” Susan called back to him, in a soothing tone. “We’ll take care of this.” “Yes, we split up,” Doctor Cockroach said. “One team will create a distraction in town, while Susan and I deal with the Kraal’s control equipment…” “Waitaminute…!” Linc growled. “Which team am I on, huh?” B.O.B. asked, joining his teammates and peering over Linc’s shoulder. “We also need to get in touch with either U.N.I.T. or…whatever your group is called,” Benton said. “If this is an invasion attempt, we’ll need the military. If someone can get outside the range of the Kraal signals…uh…why is everyone looking at me…?” “Um…you got something on your shirt…!” B.O.B. stage whispered, gesturing at his own blue, gloopy chest, then pointing at Benton. “You been volunteered, pal,” Linc said. “But, why me?” Benton asked. “That’s…!” “Actually quite sensible,” Doctor Cockroach nodded thoughtfully. “You blend in better then the rest of us.” “Her legs are twenty feet long…!” Benton said, pointing towards Susan. “She can outrace my car!” “The military will listen you,” Susan said. “They barely tolerate us and we need to get them to listen quickly. The Doctor is right.” “Hit the road, champ,” Linc said, chucking Benton on the shoulder. “Um…well…alright,” Benton sighed, failing to hide his discomfort at being basically sent away. “I just…good luck.” “You too,” Susan said, with a sad smile. “See you soon.” “Su-san and Ben-ton…!” B.O.B. began singing, until everyone else glared at him. “So, I take the Jell-O mold that walks like a man and rampage through the town, while you two go fight aliens?” Linc asked, after Benton had reluctantly driven off. “Yes,” Susan nodded. “I’ll run interference, while the Doctor messes with their…signal…thingies…” “I hate when you guys talk all technical,” B.O.B. frowned. “Yes, then good luck, everyone,” Doctor Cockroach nodded, gathering his bits of equipment and the severed android head. “Hey, aren’t we gonna do the thing?” B.O.B. asked. “What ‘thing’, B.O.B.?” Susan asked, patiently. “The thing where we put our hands together and do a dramatic teamwork pose before we go off on a mission that may well decide the fate of the world,” The blob told them, in the tone of someone explaining something to a small child. “Oh really…!” Doctor Cockroach muttered, rolling his over-sized eyes. “Actually, I kinda like when we do that,” Linc shrugged, putting his hand out. “Yeah…me too,” Susan shrugged, putting her giant hand on top of her teammates’. Smiling giddily, B.O.B. added his hand. All three then looked at the mutated scientist. Doctor Cockroach frowned back, then sighed and put his hand on top of the other three. “We really need to come up with a battle cry or team motto!” B.O.B. said, thoughtfully. “Just enjoy the moment, B.O.B.,” Susan said. “Let’s get to work.” “Yeah, something like that,” B.O.B. muttered, as they separated. “But more dramatic, like ‘Monsters make ready!’ or…” Linc dope-slapped his teammate, setting off a full body wobble. Soon, the amphibious ape-man and the blob were making their way through the water and sewer pipes below the infiltrated town. Linc grunted and struggled, as some of the pipes and maintenance tunnels got very narrow. B.O.B. just oozed along; changing shape to fit whatever space they traveled through. “Okay…hnnn…Let me take the…jeez, could they make these things any narrower…lead,” Linc grunted, pulling himself out of a water pipe and into the tunnel.” when we get topside.” “Okay,” B.O.B. said, pouring out of the pipe and reforming into his regular shape. He pushed his eye back into place and blinked several times. “Monster time…!” “What?” Linc asked, pausing halfway up a metal ladder to look back at his teammate. “Just trying it out,” B.O.B. shrugged. Linc frowned, shook his head and continued his climb. He reached the manhole cover and stretched out his fingers, extending several of his claws to dig into the narrow space around the cover. He flicked his tail up to tap at his earpiece. “This thing working?” He said. “We’re ready to go.” “Zzzt…just about…zzzttt…should be…zzzttt…!” Was the reply. “I’m gonna take that as a ‘yes, Linc, go ahead’.” He shrugged and shoved the manhole upwards. It flew ten feet into the air, embedding itself in the hood of a car when it landed. “Okay…ugghhh…time to go,” He muttered, as he squeezed himself out of the manhole and took up a fighting stance in the middle of the street. “Come on, you plastic jabroonies! I got a fistful for all of you!” “But, we’d rather not hit you so hard your face falls off!” B.O.B. added, aggressively. “Yeah, let me do the trash talking, pal,” Linc said over his shoulder. “Oh, look! Company.” Cars pulled up, front doors opened and the citizens of the city came out to investigate the disturbance. Some in pajamas, some fully dressed, a few policemen, adults as well as children, all blank faced and stiff in movement. Pretty soon there were dozens of androids surrounding them. They all raised their hands, which began to morph into guns. “Huh, seems like a lot of them.” B.O.B. said, starting to count. “Yeah, kinda noticed that,” Linc muttered. “We might be too good at attracting attention…” He cracked his knuckles and stretched his shoulders. B.O.B. attempted a ‘tough guy’ face, stretching himself to look taller while morphing his fists into over-sized mallet shapes. “Whelp, this is probably gonna hurt,” Linc muttered, leaping at the crowd. Just outside of town, Susan tiptoed her way through the woods and was now keeping out of sight, behind the biggest tree she could find. She peeked over the top of the tree at the government base, a collection of three concrete block buildings, ringed around the main three-story office building. “What now?” She whispered down to Doctor Cockroach. “What?” He whispered back. She reached down and deposited the team’s science expert on a top branch. “What now?” She asked again. “The main…control thingies is in the big building?” “Most likely,” He nodded, taking out a clunky, oversized version of night vision goggles and pulling them on. “Though, there’s a bit of activity around that building with the antenna…not to mention that one farthest away, looks like a maintenance depot…?” He stroked his mustache in thought for several minutes. “So, we split up, right?” Susan suggested. “I distract them and take out that big antenna, you sneak into the main building… where the controls should be, right?” “Hmmm,” He nodded. “Most likely the Kraal are using both antenna, one for energy broadcast, the other for control signals.” “Are you going to be okay, on your own?” Susan asked, concerned. “I can handle the rough stuff, but well, you…can get distracted and are a little on the…um..” “I’ll have you know,” Doctor Cockroach said, puffing himself up to his full, unimpressive, height. “I have the proportionate strength of a cockroach!” “Is that a lot?” “Well, not as such…I can resist high doses of radiation…” He muttered. “Yeah, just be careful,” Susan said, lowering him to the ground. Just then, her earpiece went off. “Zzztttt…work-ing-ing-ing…zzzzzzt…we ready…” “Yeah, we are just about ready,” She replied. “Wait a couple minutes. We should be in place…guys…? Hello…? Is someone shooting at you?” “Another perfectly executed plan,” Doctor Cockroach muttered, scrambling from the cover of the trees and ducking behind a shrub. Susan anxiously watched his progress. The few guards she could see didn’t seem to notice him, so she let the Doctor get halfway to the main building before deciding to move. “Okay,” She whispered, psyching herself up. “You can do this…it’s only the fate of the world…what would Linc do…?” She burst out of the forest, running as fast as her extremely long legs would carry her. “Die, alien scum!!!” She shouted. “That’s a bit over the top,” Doctor Cockroach mumbled to himself, as he watched his teammate go pelting madly across the compound. He scuttled along, staying close to the ground. Going from shadow, to shrub to parked car, he finally reached the building, managed to unscrew the cover of a heating vent and crawled inside. Susan was halfway to her target, when two jeeps, loaded with soldiers and guys in lab coats came racing towards her. She leapt over the first one, but nearly tripped over the second. She stumbled, and then kicked the jeep, sending it skidding into some shrubs. Susan ran, her ankle twinging, but only slightly slowing her down. Soldiers on foot soon joined the chase. They sported both gun-hands, as well as actual guns, and the ginormous heroine was soon running through a rain of bullets and laser bursts. “Ow…!” She exclaimed, frowning. “Jerks…” By the time she reached the secondary building, there was a ring of soldiers, scientists and janitors around the building. “Oh, come on!” Susan exclaimed, exasperation. “I’m not stopping! Get out of the way!” She made a shooing gesture as she approached the building. Nobody moved, so she kept running, dodging their shots as best she could. Susan took a running leap and landed on the roof of the building. She used the massive dish antenna as a makeshift shield, moving with it, as it slowly, steadily turned. The shooting stopped. “Okay, they don’t want to damage the antenna,” She muttered, starting to feel dizzy as she moved in circles to keep from getting shot. “Can’t do this all night,” She mumbled to herself, trying to tap her earpiece, while walking, crouched, in a circle. Susan reached out, stretching her arms, gripped the sides of the antenna. Her muscles trembled as she forced it to a slow, grinding halt. Machinery screeched and sparked, as it slowed. Susan struggled to keep the antenna from moving, her feet skidding in the gravel on the roof, and the androids resuming shooting at her didn’t help. “Anything else…?” she said, through gritted teeth. “I’m sure if you guys tried you could find a way to make this harder…!” From a little, metal shed at the base of the antenna, a door opened and an alien, brandishing a snub-nosed ray gun ran out. “Stop, human!” It shouted in a gravelly voice. “This interference is intolerable!” The Kraal (Susan recognized it from the pictures) pointed the ray gun at her, practically stomping its broad foot in frustration. She jammed her shoulder against the antenna, holding it in place and reaching down, grabbed the Kraal by the back of his metallic tunic. She shook him until he dropped his weapon. “Let…let me go!” He raged. “I will not be treated like…aaaaggghhhh!” She gave the alien a vigorous shake, until he stopped ranting. “You…come to my…hnnn…planet, try and take over, shoot at my…ow… friends and me and then lecture me… for…for not treating you with respect…? I’m a pretty even-tempered person, but I’m tempted to drop you right now.” “Um…I…uh…might have spoken…hastily…!” The Kraal replied, anxiously eyeing the four-story drop to the ground. “Obviously, you are a…thoughtful and…uh…civilized…” “To late to try buttering me up,” Susan scolded him. “The time to do that was BEFORE shooting at me. Now, call off your robots…” “They are androids….pleasedon’tdropme…!” “Or, do I see how far I can throw you?” She finished. “I am only the secondary technician,” The Kraal explained, in obvious fright. “Stron is field commander…he’s there…” He nervously pointed towards the main building. Susan brought him closer to her enormous face and peered threatenly and thoughtfully at the stocky green alien cowering in her grasp. “Okay.” She said, at last. “ Give me a second.” She gritted her teeth, braced her feet and pushed with all her might against the massive antenna. The machinery fighting against her groaned, screeched, sparked and finally toppled over. Susan straightened up, rolling her giant shoulders and then used her free hand to brush her silver-blonde hair out of her eyes. “Now, I’m going to need to talk to your manager,” She said, jumping down from the roof, the belligerent alien still dangling from her hand. Most of the androids had collapsed to the ground or just started walking in random directions. Susan kicked a few out of her way then jogged towards the main building. As she got closer, she noticed the androids hadn’t just halted, but seemed to have stepped aside to create a path for her. Unsure, if that was a good sign or not, Susan made her way to the building and began peering into windows; pretty sure she’d know the Kraal commander when she saw him. Around the back of the building, she spotted what looked like a break room. Seated at one of the tables was a Kraal, jowlier and greyer shade of green then her captive. Across the table from him, nibbling on an instant ramen cup was Doctor Cockroach. Puzzled and annoyed, she tapped on the glass. Doctor Cockroach hurried over and opened the window. “Ah, Susan!” He said. “You’re here, good!” “What are you doing?” She asked. “Are you on a snack break?” “What? No, no, nothing like that. Supervisor Stron and I have come to an understanding…” “Understanding…?! He’s trying to conquer the earth!” “Well, that’s the misunderstanding.” Doctor Cockroach said, his tone strangely calm. “They aren’t invading.” “Then why are all those guys with guns shooting at me?” She asked through gritted teeth. “You see,” Doctor Cockroach said, leaning his arms on the sill while he talked. “Apparently, after they had several invasion plans thwarted, the Kraal realized they weren’t cut out for it, but had a gift for weapons design.” Susan’s forehead furrowed in thought, she glanced from her teammate, to the alien still held in her hand and back to Doctor Cockroach. “Are you telling me all of this, taking over an entire town and a government base, shooting at us…!” She looked significantly at the Kraal dangling from her hand when she said that last part. “Was just so they would have a place to test their androids? They wanted a sales floor!” The Kraal she was holding whimpered quietly, as she tightened her grip in anger. “Not sure I’d put it exactly that way…ulp!” Doctor Cockroach began, suddenly startled as Susan’s enormous arm shot past him, grabbed hold of Stron by his chubby waist and yanked him out of the break room and then held both aliens up so they were faced to face with the giantess. “So, here’s what we are going to do,” She told them sternly. “You’re going to pack up your toys and get off my planet or I am going to use both of you to practice my tennis serve…! Do we understand each other?” “I don’t know if this the best way…?” Doctor Cockroach began, before being silenced by a glare from his giant teammate. “Do we…?” Susan asked, adding a little shake to ensure she had both aliens attention. “This is most unprofessional…!” Stron grumbled, before Susan changed her grip for a better throwing hold on the alien. “Yes, your intention is quite clear!” “Ah, diplomacy…!” Doctor Cockroach muttered, helping himself to a cold cup of coffee someone had left on the nearest table. Meanwhile, back in town, Linc was sitting, shoulders slumped, on top of a large pile of broken android parts. He was sporting a black eye and currently using a severed mechanical arm as a back scratcher. “Aaah, that hits the spot,” He breathed. “You think this means we won…?” B.O.B. wobbled around, slack-mouthed, his single eye rolling around in his head, his arms stretched out to uneven lengths, randomly throwing punches whenever he got close to any object, whether it was a foe or telephone pole. Soon, the military arrived, General Monger’s troops working with U.I.N.T. to clean up, free the captive townspeople and base personal and generally sort out the situation. The monsters sat, sprawled on the ground, leaning against a tractor-trailer truck, in various disheveled states of exhaustion. B.O.B. was basically a large puddle, Doctor Cockroach was busy tinkering with the collection of android parts, U.I.N.T. had allowed him to claim, Susan was frowning at the damage caused to her outfit by the Kraal’s weapons and Linc lay back, boneless and snoring, a single strand of drool sliding from the corner of his mouth. The military, still uneasy about their appearance had mostly left them alone and in this rare instance, they were content to be shunned, as they were grateful for the rest. “Everyone okay?” Benton asked approaching. He’d returned with the U.N.I.T squads, but been too busy with the clean up to check on them. “I’mmmm..fu-fine…!” B.O.B. burbled, moistly. “Whu-wha-why do you ask…?” “Fascinating!” Doctor Cockroach muttered, not looking up from the android foot he was studying. “Fluid link diodes…!” “Yeah, we’re fine,” Susan said, smile tiredly. “Long night.” “Well, we should be able to send you guys home soon,” Benton nodded. “Just clean up now…no problems…” “What was the explosion earlier?” Susan asked, trying to stifle a yawn. “That…uh…that was the Kraal escaping,” Benton muttered, sheepishly. “We didn’t spot the escape pod they had stashed in the storage shed until it was too late.” “Oops,” She shrugged. “Yeah, it’ll make identifying some of the equipment we captured tricky, but not impossible.” “Also, would have been nice to know who the client they were testing all those weapons for was.” Susan added. “We are working on a list of suspects,” Benton told her. “So, I…uh…I’ve been recruited to join Dr. Shaw’s team…help with sorting through all this. I just wanted to say ‘good-bye’. It was nice meeting you…uh…your team and, you know, working…um…with you…all of you.” “It was nice meeting you too….I mean, to work with,” Susan said, her cheeks pinking slightly. “ She offered a giant hand and Benton took hold of a finger and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Shu-san an’ Ali-ster…sittin inna tree…” B.O.B. slurred quietly, too tired to fully form his mouth. Epilogue: somewhere in the depths of the ocean… The fish-shaped submarine moved through the water, steady and serene, while inside was chaos. The crew, a mix of aliens, mutants and robotic fish-featured soldiers, were all distracted from the daily handling of the sub in their efforts to dodge the tantrum and many objects being thrown by the sub’s captain. “What do you mean the Kraal have left the planet?” Divatox raged, bouncing a vase off the head of her scientific advisor. “Where are my weapons? Where are my androids? Who are the soon to be facing my wrath knuckleheads responsible for this?!” Author’s note: so, here it is, my first ever story for the Every-verse! My plan is to take three or four of the ideas on my (absurdly long) list of franchises I’d love to write, do a one shot story introducing my version and then continue them as semi-reoccurring features in this anthology. These guys have created a brilliant toy box here, and while there was no way I could handle an ongoing, there was also no way that I’d have the willpower to not pitch some ideas, especially being able to mix and match franchises. With Monsters vs. aliens, I am not going as serious as some of the titles on this site, but I also don’t want to do the overly jokey style of the movie. There is humor, but I want it and the stories to be more silver age super hero team, then sitcom. Still working out my list of ideas, but I do have plans for something from the fringes of Power Ranger continuity as well as something with Doctor Who (I know there’s a series, but he’s not using 12 of them).
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Travel the Every-VerseA title brought to you by the Architect's of the Every-Verse Archives
August 2019
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