EPISODE 2
I DIDN'T SHOOT THE DEPUTY MAYOR We open back where we left off back at the Griffin house, as Peter announced that he is the new Deputy Mayor of Quahog. Lois is seen with a frown on her face after hearing this. LOIS Peter,how the holy hell did you become Deputy Mayor? PETER Well, Lois, while I was off doing that charity thing, I went to City Hall and thought it was the Clam. Cut to City Hall, where Angela is talking to Doug, the con artist guy from the show who always cons Peter. ANGELA What the hell are we going to do about this thing about me being corupt? DOUG Well, Mayor Fisher, if you can find some dumbass to be Deputy Mayor and take the rap, then you are scott free. ANGELA Okay, then who whould be that stupid enough to take the job? Just then, Peter Griffin eneter the room with money in his hand. PETER I would like to donate to carity. ANGELA (smirks)) What would you like to be Deputy Mayor of Quahog? PETER Do I get paid more for this? 2. Cut back to the Griffins, but with everone else with frowns on their faces. BRIAN Gee, Peter, you sure done some dumb things, but this is the dumbest. PETER I thought you guys would be happy that I'm the Deputy Mayor. MEG Dad, you don't know anything about politics. Plus this could be a set-up. PETER Shut up, Meg. Peter whacks Meg with a rolled up newspaper like a dog. STEWIE Wait, with the Fat Man in the Mayor role, he can over this shithole of a town. LOIS Stewie, watch your language! MEG Does anyone noticed that Stewie is now talking nornal English at a one year old level? Everyone pauses, until Peter whacks Meg again with the newspaper. PETER Shut up, Meg. MEG I'm not a dog, you fat moron! Meg walks off, but pauses as she looks at her family with an evil look on her face. MEG (frowns)You will all pay for this when the time comes. () LOIS What did Meg say? PETER Said something about payday candy bars. (Peter laughs) 3. Meg frowns as she runs upstairs. We cut to Meg's room where we see on top of her drawer voodoo dolls of Peter, Lois, and Chris between two candles. MEG Soon, you sons of bitches, very soon. (Smirks evily) Cut to the Drunken Clam a few days later, as we see Peter with his friends, JOE SWANSON, CLEVELAND BROWN, and GLEN QUAGMIRE. PETER So, fellas, I'm the new Deputy Mayor of Quahog. What do you think? CLEVELAND I think this is going to lead into another chrash and burn things that would end with some life lesson at the end, Peter. Everyone looks on at what Cleveland just said. PETER Yeah right, Cleveland. Like we're in some sort of animated primetime series on Sunday nights. All four of them turn to the camera and wink. JOE I think Cleveland is right about this, Peter. You have done some stupid stuff before, and it comes back to you like clockwork. PETER Guys, I know I can help the town with all my ideas as Deputy Mayor. Peter takes out a folder with the words "Peter's Plans While He's Mayor." PETER Check this out as one of my ideas is an all night Happy Hour. GLEN We're listening, Peter. JOE You're into this just to do women, Quagmire. 4. GLEN Joe, I have my limits, and Peter's plans could change things for the better. CLEVELAND One of these ideas is to open a 24 hour XXX DVD rental store. GLEN I'll buy that for a dollar. JOE (Frowns) Quagmire! (Turns back to Peter) You know you can make better ideas than this, Peter.) PETER I know, Joe, but I won't be like those evil corrupt Mayors you see in movies and TV. Cut to City Hall where Mayor Angela Fisher is smoking a cigar while looking over Peter's ideas, as we see him in front of her desk.) ANGELA Griffin, this has got to be the most stupid things you thought up. Peter sighs and is about to walk off. ANGELA (Smirks)But I like it for a start. When can you make it official? () Peter smiles and does the Snoopy dance. We come back to the Griffin house, as we see Stewie and Brian outside, with Stewie playing with his blocks and Brian writing on his laptop. STEWIE What are you doing, Brian? BRIAN Writing the next big bestseller since The Bible. STEWIE How long was that? BRIAN How long was what? 5. STEWIE Since you have been planing to write that blasted book of yours. It's been ages since you said that. BRIAN I'm doing this is secret. I don't want people thinking a talking dog wrote a book. STEWIE Then why are you outside writing? Brian frowns and throws a tennis ball at Stewie. STEWIE What the duece? You did that on purpose, you mutt! BRIAN (frowns at Stewie)What was that, you little rugbrat? STEWIE (calm)I didn't say nothing, Brian. BRIAN I have good hearing, dumbass. We cut to another house across the street where we meet LARRY, an older man who sounds like Peter sitting in his chair in the front room. Next to him is a brown dog named STEVE who looks a little bit like Brian. LARRY Hey, Steve. Look at the talking baby and the talking dog across the stret from us. STEVE Larry, that has got to be the most dumbest thing no one has ever heard. A talking baby and a talking dog. What's next? A goldfish with the brain of a German skier? A family of talking bears living next door? An alien life form living with a family in Virginia? LARRY You're a talking dog, Steve. STEVE That's different, Larry. Now get me a beer. 6. We now go to Adam West High School the next day with Meg and Chris. Meg is in the school hallway with her friends, RUTH, ESTER, PATTY, and BETH. MEG I can't beliveve my dad is the Deputy Mayor. He is so stupid to know it's a ruse. PATTY Meg, maybe your dad will find out before anything bad happens. RUTH It's not the end of the world, Meg. We see resident Mean Girls, CONNIE AND GINA,walk towards them. CONNIE Think again, Megatron. I heard that idiot dad of yours just launched school uniforms of every student to dress as Starfleet members. We see NEIL GOLDMAN walk by. NEIL (Smirks) I think it's a great idea. Connie punches out Neil. CONNIE Get bent, Goldman! GINA If you think that's bad, one of the lunch menus is Dagwoods. What the hell is a Dagwood? CONNIE You have to do something, Meg. MEG Why me? I thought you two hate me? CONNIE We do, but your dad is going to destroy this town with his stupid rules. MEG I hate my idiot dad, but he'll have to do something so stupid to be kicked out of office. 7. Meg and her friends leave, as we turn to Connie and Gina. CONNIE (Smirks) That girl is fine. GINA Who are you talking about, Connie? CONNIE Meg Griffin. I know I hate her, but why do I love her so much? GINA (Shocked) You're in love with Megatron Griffin!? Connie, are you high? CONNIE No, Gina, I just love Meg that's all. (Bites her lower lip) She doesn't know about it yet. Cut back to the Griffin house a few hours later, where the whole family is sitting on the couch watching TV. ANNOUNCER We now return to The Simpsons Meet OJ. Cut to the Griffins. PETER Wow. The Simpsons are sure running out of ideas. STEWIE And jokes and Treehouse of Horror stories. Most of them aren't even horror themed. PETER Well, nothing can get worse than this. ANNOUNCER We interupt the crapy Simpsons episode for a special report. We cut to Diane Simmons outside of City Hall. DIANE I'm here at City Hall where the police have just arrested Mayor Angela Fisher for bribery and illegal toxic waste dumpings. Cut to Channel 5 Newsroom with Tom Tucker. 8. TOM Diane, what cause this major event? DIANE Tom, we just found out that Deputy Mayor, Peter Griffin, was video taping what the Mayor was doing. TOM So that means that Peter Griffin is the new Mayor of our town. Cut back to the Griffins. LOIS Peter, do you know what you just done? PETER That video was going to American's Funniest Home Videos, not the News. LOIS Peter. You just exposed the truth about Mayor Angela. Peter paused for a second. PETER (smiles) That makes me the new Mayor! Freaking sweet! BRIAN No, that makes you a target, you dumbass. If I know my movies right, Mayor Angela is going to get even with you after you turned her in. PETER Well, Brian, how is she going to do that? Cut to a large mansion, where we see CARTER PEWTERSMIT outside with someone covered in the shadows. CARTER That fat boob has ruined everything now that Angela is in prison. Now that he's Mayor, he'll do some stupid rules to ruin the town. I want you to ruin Peter Griffin and make him pay. We soon see the figure coming of the shadows to be ERNIE THE GIANT CHICKEN, who gives an evil grin. TO BE CONTINUED... 9.
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